YES

It's been a crazy past week and a half (or however long it's been since I last posted). Not so much crazy in the busy sense, but crazy in the stressful sense. Monday, I had a pretty bad day, I'm not even sure what sparked it but at one point during the day I was sitting at my desk at work in tears and then I left, took the rest of the day and went back to my dads to sleep. It was a really downer day and I decided, that I'm not going to let things get to me as much as they do anymore. Granted, this won't happen over night, it's going to take a lot of work, but I really want to start trying to make this happen for me. I spent so much time getting bent out of shape because of what other people do, and other peoples actions. At the end of the day, it's not effecting me so I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm just a very caring person and I try and help everyone, fix everything, make everyone happy. This literally wears me out, and makes me sick to the point that I obsess about it. I need to stop doing this. I need to start telling myself they my friends/family know that I'm here to help when I can, but I'm not going to make it my singular duty to fix all of their problems, because I just can't. I have my own issues that need to be taken care of. And that number one thing is myself.
Over the past year I've quit smoking and started working out. These are two things I've wanted to make happen for myself for years and years but never had the energy or focus to do so. Well now I've started doing them and I feel great. It's been a struggle but I'm very proud of how far I've come. The next thing I want to address about myself is my stress levels and anxiety. I've been battling anxiety for as long as I can remember. (Literally, I remember getting off the school bus in kindergarten and having a panic attack and not even know that's what that was, I just remember having a hard time breathing trying to walk down the hall.) Luckily, I don't have panic attacks much anymore, my anxiety affects me in other ways (headaches, dizzy spells, stomach aches etc.) and I really want to start defeating it. About two years ago, I was at my lowest point with anxiety. I had quit my job, and school and became a hermit. It got to the point where even leaving my room would cause me to break out in a sweat and feel uneasy. (I still can't believe it was that bad at one point, but it was) Finally I decided, I can't do this anymore and I got some help. Fast forward to the end of that summer and I was finally leaving my house, see friends etc. I was thrilled! But there's still many lingering symptoms of the anxiety that I'd like to address so that is my next goal, and I know it won't be easy. Earlier this week I started reading "May Cause Miracles" by the wonderful Gabrielle Bernstein. And it seems like it going to help bring the kind of positivity into my life that I'm going to need.
Also, a few weeks ago, after cruising my youtube subscriptions, I saw a video from the beautiful Zoella and proceeded to find her blog and read countless posts, one having to do with her 'bout with anxiety. The whole thing got me really inspired, knowing that I'm not alone in the whole anxiety game and that there are many, many others out there dealing with it. Finally I saw her post about her rose gold "Yes" bracelet that she got from an Etsy store. Basically the bracelet is meant to inspire you to say "Yes" to more things in life. I saw this and thought, I need that, I need that lovely, beautiful bracelet! So after this horrible, terrible week and staying home sick today from work, I woke up from my nap to this wonderful package waiting for me!
Even though I had a not so awesome week. I know that these things don't last forever and good days are right around the corner. On the upside of things, the weather here is finally starting to get warmer which means spending more time outside and taking walks. I cannot wait! I hope everyone has a great weekend and a enjoys the beautiful weather <3

Set 'em up and hopefully not let 'em fall.

I always start these blogs, post a few entries and then never touch it again. It probably has a lot to do with my fear of commitment. Or fear of never being able to finish what I started.....makes a lot of sense, huh? Not really. I just don't know why I do it. I think it's because I try and set up these blogs to focus one aspect of my life, like my art, or my makeup or my love for cats (actually if I did make a blog about my love for cats I think the internet may in fact just shut down all together.) The point is, I decided I need an outlet. Why just share one aspect of my life when I could share them all.
I work a decent desk job for an insurance company and I start going back to school at the end of the month to finish my degree in graphic design. Things are going to get pretty busy, but I'm really going to try and stick with this blog. I always look through the blogs I follow on this site and think, I wanna do that, that's so cool! So this time I'm going to do it. I've quit smoking this year, and started to get in shape, so gosh darn-it I'm going to have the beautiful baby blog I've always wanted! I hope you'll follow me in my journey :)